TOO MANY GAYS

The prostitute was a fucking man, it had a skirt on, and actual tits, real ones, i had one in my mouth when i put my hand between her legs, a fucking man. I kicked that fucked up tranny from it's bollocks to the kerb

There's too many gays about. They need curing or shooting, I'd give the first two bullets to Elton John and Cliff Richard, all they do in life is bum each other senseless and write songs that make me want to bite my own head off to get away from the pain their putrid musical vomit causes to my ears

Boy George, another one, tried to make us think he was a woman, it should be fucking illegal, they bang me up for smacking some idiot in the face with a chair yet they let men pretending to be women walk the streets, the same streets that children walk on, it's a disgrace

If it was in anyway humanly possible, i'd ram a pitbull up my arse to protect it from any rogue bender boners

I never had any problems inside though, i swapped three packets of marlboros for a tube of superglue and stuck two razorblades to each of my hairy cheeks, the last line of defence.

No queer cunt is ever getting their shitstained bellend anywhere near my ringpiece

FUCK THEM

THEM being the shitfucking pissturds who grassed me up ... six months in a cell with a brain dead car thief from Inverness. THEY are sooo going to get what's due, but for now, i need a shower, i've just ordered a prostitute, God bless the Internet, she'll be here soon, i need to go clean up my cock

THIRD BLOG

It has been suggested to me that I base my article on the man often referred to as the English Frank Sinatra …. Rick Astley.

I am sitting here now pondering the many approaches I could take when writing about such a man, maybe I could entitle my article ‘Red Haired Talentless Twat Monkey’ but that may be unfair to the many idiots that actually like him so I should really try and force myself to say something positive.

Long pause ….

His name is almost an anagram of Sticky Ear which, it could be argued, is what you get when you listen to his music as his voice shoots out cum pellets of soulful whiteness

In other words, a big pile of wank, so thankyou for the suggestion and please excuse me while I wipe it over my arse and dump it into the great big toilet of shit ideas

SECOND BLOG

I have been listening to a few music stations to see if I can get any inspiration for my article. I then decided to do something more fun so I rammed my cock into a pencil sharpener full of scorpions

Usually I listen to radio 4, culture, John Humphries is bad ass, you probably won’t even know who he is because you are too busy listening to music, being ignorant, ignorance bred from the shit flowing from the anus of your i-pod headphones

I just asked the idiot that runs the website if I’m allowed to swear, she said no, but fuck her, she’s a cunt.

FIRST BLOG

Please, allow me to introduce myself, I am Mr Music Hater, I am the man who lives upstairs, banging his broom against the ceiling of your shit.

TURN THE FUCKING MUSIC DOWN

I’m serious.


Hello idiots,

If we are going to get along, there are two things you need to understand, accept, deal with and get over ….. YOU are an IDIOT. The second thing is that I hate music, in fact, the only things I hate more than music are the idiots that listen to it, i.e. YOU. I hate you like Morrissey hates you, which means you’ll love me, because …. You’re idiots. If anyone reading this has a problem with anything I’ve said so far, it’s simple … fuck off, live out your shit lives and then die, as for the rest of you, have you ever wasted twenty five minutes of your life sitting on the toilet trying to come up with an idea for an article to write for a music website? Well I have, I had a brilliant one too

‘Top Ten music related people I would most like to kill’

The fuckers rejected it, in fact, the person who e-mailed me back, well done you, you are now top of the list

So basically I am clueless as to what to write …. Does anyone have any ideas?